I'm excited!

Life has been going relatively well for my for the past little while. Which is super amazing!

And out comes the optimist in me that's telling me that everything is going to keep going well. No matter what my family says about decisions I am making, no matter what friends may think, no matter what anyone else wants or thinks, I've made my decision. And I am both comfortable and happy with it.

I've spent a lot of time on my knees praying for guidance and help with this particular situation that I'm not disclosing on my blog. And I feel so comfortable and at peace with my decision. It's amazing. I have never felt more sure of anything in my life. And just that comfort is keeping me going through everything. Knowing that there is one aspect of my life where everything is working out and things are just going to keep getting better. I love that feeling.

Today was pretty awesome. I must admit.

When I got home from school the two cutest little girls in the whole history of the world were at my house. Seeing them always puts a bright patch in my day. Especially on days like today when they're so excited to see me!

Sophie was so excited about a stupid little toy she got in her happy meal at McDonald's today and she was just waiting for me to get home so she could show it to me. Because guess what? It actually burps and cries and says dada. She was so excited and her excitement was contagious.

I had her call Dave and invite him to come see her because those girls really do like him. And I jokingly called Dave her boyfriend. She was really funny about it. I said "Hey Soph when Dave answers the phone say hi boyfriend!" and she said "DAVID IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! Jonathan is!" Which made me laugh really hard because Jonathan is her brother. It was funny.

Then she invited Dave over and told me he said he wouldn't come over when I knew he was already on his way. It was pretty funny.

She got to sit in between Dave and I while we looked at old photo albums. To keep us from holding hands. According to my mom anyway.

Anyway then a while later, mom and I went dress shopping. For a new dress for graduation. I never actually found a dress that I liked. But it was a nice effort. We're going back tomorrow. After I go to school so I can get my graduation papers signed. And after tomorrow, I never have to go back to any of my classes again! That's such a relief! Hooray!

After the dress shopping I sat down to start working on my homework but I just couldn't seem to find the motivation so Dave came over and helped me and I am proud to say we actually did my homework and it's all finished and ready to present tomorrow!

And I got to watch the neighbors get a ticket for parking illegally on the side of the road. Which makes me laugh a little.

And I totally got offered a job for the next school year today! It isn't much, but i'd get to work at a little preschool as a teacher's assistant. I think it'd be a lot of fun and it'd be something to do during the days. And I've actually been thinking recently that I want to get a bachelor's degree in child development or child education so it'd help me out quite a bit anyway.

And I've finally figured out where I want to work once I get through college. They had an interpreter from a place called Sorenson come into my sign language class and I've been looking into it a lot. It seems like something I would like. They do VRS (Video Relay Service) which is where a deaf person would sign to me, I'd voice to a hearing person, a hearing person would voice back to me and I would sign that back to the deaf person. I think it'd be a pretty fun job. I just need to get the experience interpreting and my degree. So that's my career plan.

I'm going to go to school and participate in an interpreting program during college, freelance interpret through part of school, work with Jesika as a teacher's assistant at that preschool and get my degree in Child Development or teaching. Because who knows, I might like it at that preschool job and want to become a teacher there. Jess likes it a lot.

So life is basically working out wonderfully.

My boyfriend is amazing. My parents like him, I love him. And we're getting along famously. I love knowing I can count on him for anything and being able to trust him implicitly.

That's not to say that my life doesn't have it's downsides. It does.

I'm fighting with Amy again. It seems like this is getting to a what's new type of statement. We're always in a tiff or a quarrel or something. Generally over stupid stuff. But I guess I've lost her trust forever. Over something I did that was stupid. I assumed something. And it made an ass of me. Just like they tell you it will.

We were supposed to do something on Saturday. We'd been planning it for months. And I had said we could do something at my house. which was my first assumption that landed me in trouble. So Amy and I had decided we were going to do something at my house while my parents were gone in California. Shouldn't be a big deal right? Wrong. My mom said no to that idea on Thursday. And we had made our plans for Saturday. So I had class with Amy on Thursday and I told her and she specifically told me she didn't want to do anything at her house. And remember. My house is out now. So we tossed ideas around about going to a movie but nothing she wanted to see really sounded good to me she didn't want to see what I wanted to see and we never really came up with any solid plans. She didn't even act like she still wanted to do something. So I assumed she was mad at me for my mom telling me no and I made different plans to do something else. Because I didn't want to sit at home by myself all night. Here I go assuming again. I really should stop.

And that day during graduation, Amy didn't talk to me. She barely said three words to me. And that was after I said something to her. Which just further imbedded into my mind that she was mad at me and didn't want to do anything.

So that Saturday night, Amy called three times. And I had left my phone at home. Lately I've been so scatterbrained that I just keep forgetting things. I locked my keys in my car the other day because of it! I really thought though that she was mad at me and wouldn't want to do anything. So I wasn't expecting a phone call or anything. But I screwed up again. She wanted to do something. And she called to arrange something. And I didn't answer because of course, I didn't have my phone.

So that was pretty sucky. And she's still mad at me. But I'm not going to let that get me down. Even though I'm fairly certain that I've ruined our friendship for the rest of eternity. That's ok. I'll get through it. I have other friends. And if you think about it, I've been without a best friend since Andie moved in jr. high. I'll deal. Life goes on. I still have those people I can count on no matter what. And that I know trust me and believe in me no matter how many times I mess up.

So life is good. Regardless of all the bad in it. Because I'm not going to let it get me down. And the good will always outweigh the bad.

So thank you to the people in my life who I mentioned that will love me and trust me and believe in me no matter how many times I screw up. Thank you thank you thank you.

It's getting pretty late. I'm going to get some sleep.

Oh. And did I mention my parents pretty much make me really happy too? I love how supportive they've been lately. It's amazing.

Later guys!

Steph

Wow... It's been a long day. And a couple hours?

So I still haven't gone to sleep. And I'm pretty sure I don't intend on it. Because then there will be no way for me to wake up in time for school. Bleh. Isn't that the greatest? Only guess what? I actually don't even feel that tired. I'll most likely sleep through health and English and Math though... so I guess it all works out.

So I guess now it would be yesterday, I went to school and I had to sign my story in sign language. It was alright I guess. It was supposed to be 10 minutes long but I was short like 15 seconds so my grade will most likely be docked but I pretty much don't care. It's a vast improvement from what it was at before which was like 4 and a half minutes. I obviously did some major improving there on my story. 10 minutes if pretty long when you have to record yourself signing something.

Then in seminary we watched a movie that had the seminary council for next year being pranked with mentos in diet coke. It was absolutely hilarious. It rocked.

Then for lunch I went to KFC and I got a yummy potato bowl thingy only there was a hair in it so I threw it away and didn't finish it. Totally ruined it for me. And I so didn't have time to go back or I would have.

Test in smith's class. Then nothing.

And just a movie in Crowther's class.

It's so nice that we're close to the end of the year. That means I'm almost done with everything! Hooray.

After school I had to work so I went to work from 4 to 7:30 ish and that was alright. I feel kinda bad cuz I was supposed to work until 10 but I wanted to go to a class thingy at the institute with Dave so they let me leave early and Jess had asked for a ride home and because I left early I couldn't. So I feel kinda bad that I couldn't give her a ride. But. It was for a good cause.

The class was nice I guess. I got to catch up with a girl who went to my junior high. She's changed a lot since I knew her. It's kinda cool to see how she's gone from what she was to so much better than that. It's exciting to see how much potential she actually had and that she was actually strong enough to do it. Pretty much amazing. Yep yep.

And then I did homework at Dave's house. Oh let me tell you how fun that was. Actually it really wasn't that bad. We just did the vocabulary part of it so I'll be able to pass the test in English.. today I guess.

Then I got to come home and finish my children's story book for Hamlet. Which I finished like an hour ago. Huzzah!

And I got to dig through all my old pictures and find how doofish I looked and such. Oh it was great. I love how dorky I was when I was a child. Wait.. What am I saying?! I'm still dorky. It's great. I love it.

And then I took a really oober hot shower. Which was amazing. Hooray for hot showers.

I guess I'm just in a really upbeat and cheerful mood. I'm excited for the day and for the weekend and for graduation on Saturday!

And for peach cobbler! MMMM! I'm making peach cobbler for our barbeque on Saturday. mmmmmm. I can't wait for it. I love peach cobbler.

And I think that I want to make breakfast for my wonderful boyfriend and take it to him before he has to work. But I don't want to wake him up. Doesn't that sound fun though? Making breakfast and taking it to someone you love? I thought so!

I think I'll call him in a few minutes and see if he wants waffles! I heart waffles some days. Waffles and orange juice. And maybe some fruit. Oh yeah. That sounds good.

Have a fantabulous day! Cuz I already am!

The world is a beautiful place, The sun in shining somewhere I'm sure, and we are very very blessed.

Later!

I love AP tests!

No. Not because of the test in itself. I'm actually not taking any. But because it means I got to come home from school at 12:50 today. Which was happy.

I'm actually pretty worried as I write this. Today I found out that Angel was in the hospital yesterday because she collapsed twice at school. She's relapsed in her bulimia. It's really scary. She's skinny as a pin but thinks she's really fat. I wish I knew how to help her. And on top of her self image issues, now she's fighting with Sydney too.

It was actually kind of funny. Sydney came to lunch really late, after Angel and I had been texting Tyler and knew that they were sluffing together and Sydney looked at me and acted shocked and said "What, not with Dave?" Which really irritated me because not only is it none of her business where I am or who I'm with, but she said it all sarcastically like it was amazing that I wasn't with him. Which really isn't that surprising. So I quickly retorted "NOT that it's ANY of your business, but obviously, no. I'm not with Dave right now." And then Angel started in on her.

I guess Tyler and Angel promised Ms. White that they wouldn't sluff anymore and then they did today. So Angel started asking Sydney where they were and Sydney lied straight to her face. So Angel was like "You know what, you promised Ms. White you wouldn't sluff anymore but you are. So whatever. I don't care. But you're lying to me. And that pisses me off." So I was just standing there waiting for Angel cuz we had been in the middle of a serious conversation and I just wanted to finish it so as Angel is sitting there yelling at Sydney, Sydney turned to me and said "You know what? Could you go away?" And I was already pretty irritated at her so I looked at her and I said "No. I could NOT go away. I'll stay here to support my friend and when you two are done, we'll BOTH go." So then Sydney started whispering to Angel. Big deal. I don't care. I really wasn't standing there to listen to them fight. And then Sydney made Angel hug her. And while Angel was hugging her she looked at me and rolled her eyes. I wanted to laugh really hard but that just would have made Sydney talk more. But Angel and I finally got to finish our conversation. It was nice to just be able to talk to her today.

Then in Gym, I got to talk to Mystee and Anita and Trisha and Jenn. It was pretty fun. We all went in the weight room and lifted weights or rode on bikes or anything really. My arms are pretty sore from lifting though. But oh well. It was nice.

Life has been pretty amazing lately, I must say. The only negative is that I've been fighting with Sydney basically non stop but I don't even really care anymore. Our friendship has basically come to nothing and I don't care. Does that make me a horrible person? She's just become too much to deal with. So rather than let it bother me, I simply told her I was done crying over our friendship not working out and I was done caring.

This post is pretty jumpy I guess. Just random things I'm thinking as I'm sitting here typing.

Last night was way fun. We went to the Pie Pizzeria for dinner! I love that place. It was lots of fun. And then we went and saw Night at the Museum again. It was great.

I scraped my elbow in the parking lot after the movie though. And I laughed so freaking hard after I did it. It was pretty funny. Dave dipped me for a kiss and then when he was bringing me back up he moved faster than I could gain my balance and we both toppled to the pavement. In the parking lot. My elbow is still a little tender but it didn't bleed at all which was good. Then he cleaned it with peroxide. Which hurt. I think his mom was trying to talk to me while he did it.. But I'm not really sure.. My eyes were squeezed shut and I was looking the other way.

It was lots of fun though.

I'm so excited to graduate! I hate getting the announcements ready though. Seriously. What the freak is the point of putting it in two envelops?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of in my life. And the pictures my mom's making me include in a lot of them are the ugliest pictures of me I've ever seen in my life. It's crap puke yellow and I look AWFUL in it. Can you believe I have to graduate in it. Puke. Puke puke puke.

I filled out another application for a scholarship today. One that only people who go to Kearns High can get. You have to have a 3.2 GPA currently (Check!) and maintain a 3.0 GPA through college. Full ride two years to the U. I'm not really expecting to get it, but it would be really nice if I could.

Working at Harmon's is a lot nicer than working at Arby's. They actually give you your breaks and the people I work with are really fun. There's this girl named Jordan and she has the coolest hair I've ever seen in my life. We joke about our hair together. It's lot of fun cuz one day I had my hair done in a herrington (fish braid) and she was like "OH MY GOSH! Did you do that yourself?!" and it's really not that difficult to do so I was like "Yeah it took like 5 minutes" and she just about flipped cuz she said she never does her own hair so now every time I see her I'm like "yeah. Look. I did this one myself too" and I wink at her. It makes me laugh. She's awesome.

And then there's Jessica. She's pretty fun too. It's a blast. I love it there.

Anyway. I figure this is long enough for today. It's probably the only one I'll post for a while. But. Have fun guys!

Have a fantabulous day!

Steph

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Argh!

I dunno I guess I'm just kind of down. This week has been kinda. Stupid? I don't know. I found out last night that my cousin died on Sunday. My mom didn't think it was important to tell me when she found out because she didn't think I knew him. But I did. That's not to say that he was one of my best friends like Char is. But I talked to him every great once in a while. I feel awful because I was always making excuses as to why I couldn't talk to him or telling him I was too busy at that time. I never took the time to get to know him like I should have. And I feel pretty awful about it. It's a missed chance. That I should have taken. But what can I do now?

His remembrance was today. They didn't have a funeral. Only a remembrance. But I didn't go. My mom and dad went.

Also, last night I found out that my Uncle Benji's sister Josie's husband committed suicide. Within probably ten minutes of finding out about Derek. And I didn't even know Josie's husband. But the impact of hearing it sucked. And my grandma just left it as a message on our answering machine! She sounded so darn chipper and happy.

I cried on the phone with Char about them both today. It was good. I haven't talked to her in a long time. It was something I really needed to do. She's amazing. I love her so much. She always knows exactly what to say or do to make me feel better. We're going to have a girl's day soon I hope. We both need one. Or actually, I just need to see her. I need one of her Char hugs. I miss them. I miss her in general.

My eyes seem to keep wanting to cry. I don't know why. Things are going fantastically in my life. I have an amazing boyfriend who is always there for me and I appreciate him so much. Sometimes I wonder if I tell him that enough. So in case I don't... Dave, I really really appreciate you and I love you so much. Thank you for being the greatest ever.

I'm excited! In about fifteen minutes I'm going to go to dinner with Megan. We're going to have a girl's night. I'm really excited to see her!

This week I guess has had it's ups and downs. I got to spend Tuesday with Kendra and Dave. And that was lots of fun. Kendra and I had dinner and a movie at her house. We watched Cinderella Story. It was awesome. And then we had tater tot casserole that her mom made for dinner. It was yummy. Then Dave and I went to the library and to Arby's to pick up my last check! Hooray! No more awful icky gross Arby's. Especially with yucky Stephen there. Urgh. I hated him.

Anyway then last night I had a movie night at Dave's house. It was lots of fun. I love spending time with him. We tease each other and have so much fun. I love the stupid little games we play and the dumb stuff we do to make each other laugh. And running around in parking lots playing tag and having people laugh at us. Going on picnics, anything! Seriously, reading a book with him. I love it. It's great fun. And all of our inside jokes. It rocks. Dave- BEEP! and I totally stupid you. Oober Über lots.

And tonight I'm going out with Megan. Couldn't get much better could it?

Have a fantastically awesome day!

Steph