Argh!

I dunno I guess I'm just kind of down. This week has been kinda. Stupid? I don't know. I found out last night that my cousin died on Sunday. My mom didn't think it was important to tell me when she found out because she didn't think I knew him. But I did. That's not to say that he was one of my best friends like Char is. But I talked to him every great once in a while. I feel awful because I was always making excuses as to why I couldn't talk to him or telling him I was too busy at that time. I never took the time to get to know him like I should have. And I feel pretty awful about it. It's a missed chance. That I should have taken. But what can I do now?

His remembrance was today. They didn't have a funeral. Only a remembrance. But I didn't go. My mom and dad went.

Also, last night I found out that my Uncle Benji's sister Josie's husband committed suicide. Within probably ten minutes of finding out about Derek. And I didn't even know Josie's husband. But the impact of hearing it sucked. And my grandma just left it as a message on our answering machine! She sounded so darn chipper and happy.

I cried on the phone with Char about them both today. It was good. I haven't talked to her in a long time. It was something I really needed to do. She's amazing. I love her so much. She always knows exactly what to say or do to make me feel better. We're going to have a girl's day soon I hope. We both need one. Or actually, I just need to see her. I need one of her Char hugs. I miss them. I miss her in general.

My eyes seem to keep wanting to cry. I don't know why. Things are going fantastically in my life. I have an amazing boyfriend who is always there for me and I appreciate him so much. Sometimes I wonder if I tell him that enough. So in case I don't... Dave, I really really appreciate you and I love you so much. Thank you for being the greatest ever.

I'm excited! In about fifteen minutes I'm going to go to dinner with Megan. We're going to have a girl's night. I'm really excited to see her!

This week I guess has had it's ups and downs. I got to spend Tuesday with Kendra and Dave. And that was lots of fun. Kendra and I had dinner and a movie at her house. We watched Cinderella Story. It was awesome. And then we had tater tot casserole that her mom made for dinner. It was yummy. Then Dave and I went to the library and to Arby's to pick up my last check! Hooray! No more awful icky gross Arby's. Especially with yucky Stephen there. Urgh. I hated him.

Anyway then last night I had a movie night at Dave's house. It was lots of fun. I love spending time with him. We tease each other and have so much fun. I love the stupid little games we play and the dumb stuff we do to make each other laugh. And running around in parking lots playing tag and having people laugh at us. Going on picnics, anything! Seriously, reading a book with him. I love it. It's great fun. And all of our inside jokes. It rocks. Dave- BEEP! and I totally stupid you. Oober Über lots.

And tonight I'm going out with Megan. Couldn't get much better could it?

Have a fantastically awesome day!

Steph