It's been a long time...

And lots has changed. Seriously. Like. Tons.

I got a new job. Which is fantastic. I love it most days. Other than sorting the mail... working at a construction company is never really something I imagined myself doing but here I sit doing it. I work at Bodell Construction company as the receptionist. It's pretty fun actually. I get to do lots of different stuff. And the people I work with are great. The CEO is pretty weird though... Oh well. Not everyone can be perfect right?

Also, things are coming along excellently for my wedding on FRIDAY! As in 2 days away! Can you believe it? We've made it so far! It blows my mind to think about where I was and where I've come and how much progress we've made.

We have our apartment, he's moved in and everything is working out wonderfully there. And there are some LDS people that live upstairs so I think we're going to stalk them to get to church ;-) Hah. J/K. Dave's brilliant. He'll be able to find our church.

Thinking about it though I still feel like I have so much to do to get ready to be married. But not like emotionally or mentally, I just mean being prepared for the ceremony and the reception and stuff. But everything will work out. No matter what happens that day I'll be the happiest woman in the world. Because I'm marrying the man I love and that makes me happy no matter what happens.

Something I think is somewhat funny though. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my cousin who lives in Idaho is getting married on the same day! He's marrying a girl named Anjilee and their colors are green and purple too! How crazy is that? And we didn't know anything about the others wedding or anything. (I still say they stole my wedding.) He's getting married in the Jordan River temple though and I chose Salt Lake. Side note from Dave: Cody's a wanker.

I can't wait to be married. Seriously can't wait. It's only 2 days away but it seems like an eternity.

Anyway... I probably should get back to work seeing as how I'm at work right now. Nothing to do anyway. But I probably should go at least pretend to do something.

Later Gators!

Exciting news!

There's been a lot of stuff going on in my life lately and I'm really happy to say this much.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom is almost finished sewing my wedding dress!

We found an apartment and the lady called us today to tell us as soon as we verify employment and pay the deposit we've got an apartment there! And we don't have to move in until we're ready and we won't have to pay any money to live there until we do.

Life is fantabulous.

I love my fiance! I love my life! I love our apartment complex!

There's still tons to do but I'm excited that we have it all worked out so far. Hooray!

I'm excited!

Life has been going relatively well for my for the past little while. Which is super amazing!

And out comes the optimist in me that's telling me that everything is going to keep going well. No matter what my family says about decisions I am making, no matter what friends may think, no matter what anyone else wants or thinks, I've made my decision. And I am both comfortable and happy with it.

I've spent a lot of time on my knees praying for guidance and help with this particular situation that I'm not disclosing on my blog. And I feel so comfortable and at peace with my decision. It's amazing. I have never felt more sure of anything in my life. And just that comfort is keeping me going through everything. Knowing that there is one aspect of my life where everything is working out and things are just going to keep getting better. I love that feeling.

Today was pretty awesome. I must admit.

When I got home from school the two cutest little girls in the whole history of the world were at my house. Seeing them always puts a bright patch in my day. Especially on days like today when they're so excited to see me!

Sophie was so excited about a stupid little toy she got in her happy meal at McDonald's today and she was just waiting for me to get home so she could show it to me. Because guess what? It actually burps and cries and says dada. She was so excited and her excitement was contagious.

I had her call Dave and invite him to come see her because those girls really do like him. And I jokingly called Dave her boyfriend. She was really funny about it. I said "Hey Soph when Dave answers the phone say hi boyfriend!" and she said "DAVID IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! Jonathan is!" Which made me laugh really hard because Jonathan is her brother. It was funny.

Then she invited Dave over and told me he said he wouldn't come over when I knew he was already on his way. It was pretty funny.

She got to sit in between Dave and I while we looked at old photo albums. To keep us from holding hands. According to my mom anyway.

Anyway then a while later, mom and I went dress shopping. For a new dress for graduation. I never actually found a dress that I liked. But it was a nice effort. We're going back tomorrow. After I go to school so I can get my graduation papers signed. And after tomorrow, I never have to go back to any of my classes again! That's such a relief! Hooray!

After the dress shopping I sat down to start working on my homework but I just couldn't seem to find the motivation so Dave came over and helped me and I am proud to say we actually did my homework and it's all finished and ready to present tomorrow!

And I got to watch the neighbors get a ticket for parking illegally on the side of the road. Which makes me laugh a little.

And I totally got offered a job for the next school year today! It isn't much, but i'd get to work at a little preschool as a teacher's assistant. I think it'd be a lot of fun and it'd be something to do during the days. And I've actually been thinking recently that I want to get a bachelor's degree in child development or child education so it'd help me out quite a bit anyway.

And I've finally figured out where I want to work once I get through college. They had an interpreter from a place called Sorenson come into my sign language class and I've been looking into it a lot. It seems like something I would like. They do VRS (Video Relay Service) which is where a deaf person would sign to me, I'd voice to a hearing person, a hearing person would voice back to me and I would sign that back to the deaf person. I think it'd be a pretty fun job. I just need to get the experience interpreting and my degree. So that's my career plan.

I'm going to go to school and participate in an interpreting program during college, freelance interpret through part of school, work with Jesika as a teacher's assistant at that preschool and get my degree in Child Development or teaching. Because who knows, I might like it at that preschool job and want to become a teacher there. Jess likes it a lot.

So life is basically working out wonderfully.

My boyfriend is amazing. My parents like him, I love him. And we're getting along famously. I love knowing I can count on him for anything and being able to trust him implicitly.

That's not to say that my life doesn't have it's downsides. It does.

I'm fighting with Amy again. It seems like this is getting to a what's new type of statement. We're always in a tiff or a quarrel or something. Generally over stupid stuff. But I guess I've lost her trust forever. Over something I did that was stupid. I assumed something. And it made an ass of me. Just like they tell you it will.

We were supposed to do something on Saturday. We'd been planning it for months. And I had said we could do something at my house. which was my first assumption that landed me in trouble. So Amy and I had decided we were going to do something at my house while my parents were gone in California. Shouldn't be a big deal right? Wrong. My mom said no to that idea on Thursday. And we had made our plans for Saturday. So I had class with Amy on Thursday and I told her and she specifically told me she didn't want to do anything at her house. And remember. My house is out now. So we tossed ideas around about going to a movie but nothing she wanted to see really sounded good to me she didn't want to see what I wanted to see and we never really came up with any solid plans. She didn't even act like she still wanted to do something. So I assumed she was mad at me for my mom telling me no and I made different plans to do something else. Because I didn't want to sit at home by myself all night. Here I go assuming again. I really should stop.

And that day during graduation, Amy didn't talk to me. She barely said three words to me. And that was after I said something to her. Which just further imbedded into my mind that she was mad at me and didn't want to do anything.

So that Saturday night, Amy called three times. And I had left my phone at home. Lately I've been so scatterbrained that I just keep forgetting things. I locked my keys in my car the other day because of it! I really thought though that she was mad at me and wouldn't want to do anything. So I wasn't expecting a phone call or anything. But I screwed up again. She wanted to do something. And she called to arrange something. And I didn't answer because of course, I didn't have my phone.

So that was pretty sucky. And she's still mad at me. But I'm not going to let that get me down. Even though I'm fairly certain that I've ruined our friendship for the rest of eternity. That's ok. I'll get through it. I have other friends. And if you think about it, I've been without a best friend since Andie moved in jr. high. I'll deal. Life goes on. I still have those people I can count on no matter what. And that I know trust me and believe in me no matter how many times I mess up.

So life is good. Regardless of all the bad in it. Because I'm not going to let it get me down. And the good will always outweigh the bad.

So thank you to the people in my life who I mentioned that will love me and trust me and believe in me no matter how many times I screw up. Thank you thank you thank you.

It's getting pretty late. I'm going to get some sleep.

Oh. And did I mention my parents pretty much make me really happy too? I love how supportive they've been lately. It's amazing.

Later guys!

Steph

Wow... It's been a long day. And a couple hours?

So I still haven't gone to sleep. And I'm pretty sure I don't intend on it. Because then there will be no way for me to wake up in time for school. Bleh. Isn't that the greatest? Only guess what? I actually don't even feel that tired. I'll most likely sleep through health and English and Math though... so I guess it all works out.

So I guess now it would be yesterday, I went to school and I had to sign my story in sign language. It was alright I guess. It was supposed to be 10 minutes long but I was short like 15 seconds so my grade will most likely be docked but I pretty much don't care. It's a vast improvement from what it was at before which was like 4 and a half minutes. I obviously did some major improving there on my story. 10 minutes if pretty long when you have to record yourself signing something.

Then in seminary we watched a movie that had the seminary council for next year being pranked with mentos in diet coke. It was absolutely hilarious. It rocked.

Then for lunch I went to KFC and I got a yummy potato bowl thingy only there was a hair in it so I threw it away and didn't finish it. Totally ruined it for me. And I so didn't have time to go back or I would have.

Test in smith's class. Then nothing.

And just a movie in Crowther's class.

It's so nice that we're close to the end of the year. That means I'm almost done with everything! Hooray.

After school I had to work so I went to work from 4 to 7:30 ish and that was alright. I feel kinda bad cuz I was supposed to work until 10 but I wanted to go to a class thingy at the institute with Dave so they let me leave early and Jess had asked for a ride home and because I left early I couldn't. So I feel kinda bad that I couldn't give her a ride. But. It was for a good cause.

The class was nice I guess. I got to catch up with a girl who went to my junior high. She's changed a lot since I knew her. It's kinda cool to see how she's gone from what she was to so much better than that. It's exciting to see how much potential she actually had and that she was actually strong enough to do it. Pretty much amazing. Yep yep.

And then I did homework at Dave's house. Oh let me tell you how fun that was. Actually it really wasn't that bad. We just did the vocabulary part of it so I'll be able to pass the test in English.. today I guess.

Then I got to come home and finish my children's story book for Hamlet. Which I finished like an hour ago. Huzzah!

And I got to dig through all my old pictures and find how doofish I looked and such. Oh it was great. I love how dorky I was when I was a child. Wait.. What am I saying?! I'm still dorky. It's great. I love it.

And then I took a really oober hot shower. Which was amazing. Hooray for hot showers.

I guess I'm just in a really upbeat and cheerful mood. I'm excited for the day and for the weekend and for graduation on Saturday!

And for peach cobbler! MMMM! I'm making peach cobbler for our barbeque on Saturday. mmmmmm. I can't wait for it. I love peach cobbler.

And I think that I want to make breakfast for my wonderful boyfriend and take it to him before he has to work. But I don't want to wake him up. Doesn't that sound fun though? Making breakfast and taking it to someone you love? I thought so!

I think I'll call him in a few minutes and see if he wants waffles! I heart waffles some days. Waffles and orange juice. And maybe some fruit. Oh yeah. That sounds good.

Have a fantabulous day! Cuz I already am!

The world is a beautiful place, The sun in shining somewhere I'm sure, and we are very very blessed.

Later!

I love AP tests!

No. Not because of the test in itself. I'm actually not taking any. But because it means I got to come home from school at 12:50 today. Which was happy.

I'm actually pretty worried as I write this. Today I found out that Angel was in the hospital yesterday because she collapsed twice at school. She's relapsed in her bulimia. It's really scary. She's skinny as a pin but thinks she's really fat. I wish I knew how to help her. And on top of her self image issues, now she's fighting with Sydney too.

It was actually kind of funny. Sydney came to lunch really late, after Angel and I had been texting Tyler and knew that they were sluffing together and Sydney looked at me and acted shocked and said "What, not with Dave?" Which really irritated me because not only is it none of her business where I am or who I'm with, but she said it all sarcastically like it was amazing that I wasn't with him. Which really isn't that surprising. So I quickly retorted "NOT that it's ANY of your business, but obviously, no. I'm not with Dave right now." And then Angel started in on her.

I guess Tyler and Angel promised Ms. White that they wouldn't sluff anymore and then they did today. So Angel started asking Sydney where they were and Sydney lied straight to her face. So Angel was like "You know what, you promised Ms. White you wouldn't sluff anymore but you are. So whatever. I don't care. But you're lying to me. And that pisses me off." So I was just standing there waiting for Angel cuz we had been in the middle of a serious conversation and I just wanted to finish it so as Angel is sitting there yelling at Sydney, Sydney turned to me and said "You know what? Could you go away?" And I was already pretty irritated at her so I looked at her and I said "No. I could NOT go away. I'll stay here to support my friend and when you two are done, we'll BOTH go." So then Sydney started whispering to Angel. Big deal. I don't care. I really wasn't standing there to listen to them fight. And then Sydney made Angel hug her. And while Angel was hugging her she looked at me and rolled her eyes. I wanted to laugh really hard but that just would have made Sydney talk more. But Angel and I finally got to finish our conversation. It was nice to just be able to talk to her today.

Then in Gym, I got to talk to Mystee and Anita and Trisha and Jenn. It was pretty fun. We all went in the weight room and lifted weights or rode on bikes or anything really. My arms are pretty sore from lifting though. But oh well. It was nice.

Life has been pretty amazing lately, I must say. The only negative is that I've been fighting with Sydney basically non stop but I don't even really care anymore. Our friendship has basically come to nothing and I don't care. Does that make me a horrible person? She's just become too much to deal with. So rather than let it bother me, I simply told her I was done crying over our friendship not working out and I was done caring.

This post is pretty jumpy I guess. Just random things I'm thinking as I'm sitting here typing.

Last night was way fun. We went to the Pie Pizzeria for dinner! I love that place. It was lots of fun. And then we went and saw Night at the Museum again. It was great.

I scraped my elbow in the parking lot after the movie though. And I laughed so freaking hard after I did it. It was pretty funny. Dave dipped me for a kiss and then when he was bringing me back up he moved faster than I could gain my balance and we both toppled to the pavement. In the parking lot. My elbow is still a little tender but it didn't bleed at all which was good. Then he cleaned it with peroxide. Which hurt. I think his mom was trying to talk to me while he did it.. But I'm not really sure.. My eyes were squeezed shut and I was looking the other way.

It was lots of fun though.

I'm so excited to graduate! I hate getting the announcements ready though. Seriously. What the freak is the point of putting it in two envelops?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of in my life. And the pictures my mom's making me include in a lot of them are the ugliest pictures of me I've ever seen in my life. It's crap puke yellow and I look AWFUL in it. Can you believe I have to graduate in it. Puke. Puke puke puke.

I filled out another application for a scholarship today. One that only people who go to Kearns High can get. You have to have a 3.2 GPA currently (Check!) and maintain a 3.0 GPA through college. Full ride two years to the U. I'm not really expecting to get it, but it would be really nice if I could.

Working at Harmon's is a lot nicer than working at Arby's. They actually give you your breaks and the people I work with are really fun. There's this girl named Jordan and she has the coolest hair I've ever seen in my life. We joke about our hair together. It's lot of fun cuz one day I had my hair done in a herrington (fish braid) and she was like "OH MY GOSH! Did you do that yourself?!" and it's really not that difficult to do so I was like "Yeah it took like 5 minutes" and she just about flipped cuz she said she never does her own hair so now every time I see her I'm like "yeah. Look. I did this one myself too" and I wink at her. It makes me laugh. She's awesome.

And then there's Jessica. She's pretty fun too. It's a blast. I love it there.

Anyway. I figure this is long enough for today. It's probably the only one I'll post for a while. But. Have fun guys!

Have a fantabulous day!

Steph

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Argh!

I dunno I guess I'm just kind of down. This week has been kinda. Stupid? I don't know. I found out last night that my cousin died on Sunday. My mom didn't think it was important to tell me when she found out because she didn't think I knew him. But I did. That's not to say that he was one of my best friends like Char is. But I talked to him every great once in a while. I feel awful because I was always making excuses as to why I couldn't talk to him or telling him I was too busy at that time. I never took the time to get to know him like I should have. And I feel pretty awful about it. It's a missed chance. That I should have taken. But what can I do now?

His remembrance was today. They didn't have a funeral. Only a remembrance. But I didn't go. My mom and dad went.

Also, last night I found out that my Uncle Benji's sister Josie's husband committed suicide. Within probably ten minutes of finding out about Derek. And I didn't even know Josie's husband. But the impact of hearing it sucked. And my grandma just left it as a message on our answering machine! She sounded so darn chipper and happy.

I cried on the phone with Char about them both today. It was good. I haven't talked to her in a long time. It was something I really needed to do. She's amazing. I love her so much. She always knows exactly what to say or do to make me feel better. We're going to have a girl's day soon I hope. We both need one. Or actually, I just need to see her. I need one of her Char hugs. I miss them. I miss her in general.

My eyes seem to keep wanting to cry. I don't know why. Things are going fantastically in my life. I have an amazing boyfriend who is always there for me and I appreciate him so much. Sometimes I wonder if I tell him that enough. So in case I don't... Dave, I really really appreciate you and I love you so much. Thank you for being the greatest ever.

I'm excited! In about fifteen minutes I'm going to go to dinner with Megan. We're going to have a girl's night. I'm really excited to see her!

This week I guess has had it's ups and downs. I got to spend Tuesday with Kendra and Dave. And that was lots of fun. Kendra and I had dinner and a movie at her house. We watched Cinderella Story. It was awesome. And then we had tater tot casserole that her mom made for dinner. It was yummy. Then Dave and I went to the library and to Arby's to pick up my last check! Hooray! No more awful icky gross Arby's. Especially with yucky Stephen there. Urgh. I hated him.

Anyway then last night I had a movie night at Dave's house. It was lots of fun. I love spending time with him. We tease each other and have so much fun. I love the stupid little games we play and the dumb stuff we do to make each other laugh. And running around in parking lots playing tag and having people laugh at us. Going on picnics, anything! Seriously, reading a book with him. I love it. It's great fun. And all of our inside jokes. It rocks. Dave- BEEP! and I totally stupid you. Oober Über lots.

And tonight I'm going out with Megan. Couldn't get much better could it?

Have a fantastically awesome day!

Steph

Prom and other news.

I've decided I don't want to blog about San Francisco.

So, I'm moving on to prom.

Prom was on Saturday and it was fun. Regardless of all the mishaps and misfortunes we came across.

To start the date off, Dave and I went mini golfing at Mulligans. And that was really fun. And no matter what Dave says to you guys, he won! He got 66 and I got 68. And in golf, ANY type of golf, low score wins. That was a lot of fun. The couple in front of us made fun of us a little, and the couple behind us was pretty fun at times too. Then we got shakes from iceberg and just talked for a while. That was really good. He ended up dropping me off at home around 5 and saying he expected to pick me up around 5:30 but he might be late.

I was ready by 5:30 but Daniel had taken Dave's car to get the coolant flushed even though Dave had told him specifically not to. So he was running late. He got to my house around 6:15, after telling me he was running late. By the time we picked Court up, it was close to 6:30 and Dave was kinda irritated at that point.

We decided on going to Buca di Beppo's for dinner, and the valet parked the car and we went inside. When the waitress was bringing our drinks out though, she spilled mine all over Dave in his rented tux, and part of it got on the bottom of my dress. But the dinner was good. By the time we got out of there we were rushing to get to the dance so we would have time to dance a little, get pictures and then leave.

However, that didn't exactly work out. The car broke down on the freeway and we ended up waiting for his parents after a prayer that things would work out. But eventually, we were back on the road again, in a different car, but back on the road. We made it to the dance in just enough time for pictures. Which I'm sure look amazing.

Then from the dance we went to the Joseph Smith Memorial building for a carriage ride. That was a lot of fun. Nathan and Courtney had to keep the carriage waiting for Dave and me though as we had to go find parking and took the wrong exit out of the parking garage.

And that was prom. I had a lot of fun. But I always do when I'm with Dave. Seriously. It's awesome how much fun we have.

In other news, I have a friend who I think is permanently mad at me. It seems like no matter what I do this person is always mad. I can do no right. Even when I'm trying my very hardest. It's pretty much a hugely sucky feeling. I feel like I can't talk to this person about anything anymore and it's become pretty hard for me, but I just have to keep telling myself that I'll be ok and that I'm going to make it through this and that I don't care about this person hating me. Because that's the only way I'm going to make it through. It's getting pretty difficult though. I act very nonchalant about it. But inside, I'm hurting a lot. The great thing is that I have people I can talk to about it. People who love me and see where I'm coming from.

I guess part of me is getting pretty irritated at this person. Because I really don't want to lose them as a friend but it seems like everything I do makes them even more mad and I don't know how to fix things. And it frustrates me. I hate being the bad guy. And it seems like lately that's all I am. I want this person to be my friend, but I don't know how to keep our friendship in tact without losing the thing that means the most in the whole world to me. And right now, I'm not willing to give that up. Maybe I should be. But I'm not. For the most part, I am completely happy with my life and I wouldn't change things. Just the things with this person.

I guess that's life though right?

Later!

Wow...

It's been quite a long time since I've had time to sit here and blog. But since last night Courtney told me I need to blog more... here I sit. Even though I should be doing my math homework. So here you go Court! A blog just for you... Ok so not really just for you. But you inspired me to sit down and write one today. Otherwise I'd probably still be playing DDR with my brother and sister.

So. let's start back at spring break! Mostly just Easter weekend. We went to my grandparents house.. hooray right? yeah. not. My grandpa and I were actually doing more fighting than my grandma and I because he was being a jerk toward Dave. I was seriously irate. I locked myself in the front bedroom and finished reading Phantom though. That was a positive. The negative was that I couldn't talk to Dave because my stupid cell phone had no service. So I went all weekend not talking to him.

But when I got home on Sunday there was a surprise on my door! A whole bunch of green post it notes with BEEP! writeen on them. It was Dave asking me to prom. He gave me a box with peach rings (my favorite ever!) and conversation hearts and a lot of cards that are all from despair.com which are all really negative cards and he put a positive spin on them all. Then there was a card taped to the bottom of the box that said "All the way to the moon with just one of your kisses" so to answer him I took two huge bags of Hershey's kisses and went to his house monday morning and my sister and I showered him with kisses to send us to the moon and prom. It was great fun.

Then we went to the mall and we hung around the mall for a while on Monday. That was lots of fun. Until I had to work. But I'm so excited for myself! I put in my two weeks notice and I have another job so I won't take them back!i'm very excited!

Then Tuesday was the only day of school I went to this week because Wednesday we took off for San Francisco. School was alright on Tuesday. In gym I spent like 15 minutes just spinning in circles. That was amazing.

Then after school I had a job interview. Which I got. Hooray. I have orientation on Wednesday.

Then after that I was in a rush to pack all of my clothes and get everything ready so I could go out to dinner with Dave. So Dave and I went to Buca di Beppo's for dinner and it was amazing. Then I came home and decided I wanted to go to the library. So I texted Dave and asked him if he wanted to go with. And we went to the library together. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before I left on Wednesday.

Then I went to Amy's house and spent the night there. And we took off for the airport Wednesday morning. That was an adventure that I'll talk about in a different post. All of San Fran actually. And all of the rest of my week. I'll try and finish that tomorrow. But we'll see how it goes. I've actually been oober busy the past couple weeks. So I'll see what I'm able to do tomorrow!

Later!

We broke the bed!!!!!

Ok. So Nathan inspired this post.

This is another one of my crazy memories. Which should be hilarious for me to remember. It was absolutely hilarious the night it happened anyway.

I was having a sleep over with Andie, as was our normal weekend routine, and it just happened to be at my house this weekend. So we were having a grand time as we always do.

We were in my bedroom playing this awesome card game called Dummies. Now in order to understand why it's the best card game ever you have to know something about it. I love playing Dummies. You get to hit yourself so much! I love it! So the way you play is if there are two cards played of the same suit you want to pick them up and the point of the game is to get the whole deck of cards. If there are two hearts, you hit your heart then the deck, two diamonds, you hit your head then the deck. two spades you just hit the deck and two clubs you hit the surface you're playing on then the deck.

Andie and I play this game religiously. Almost every time we get together we play it. So this particular night we're in my bedroom sitting on my bed. It was a simple bed, wooden frame with a box springs and a mattress. so we had just had two hearts and I hit myself so hard in the head that I started laughing hysterically. And laughter is contagious. So Andie started laughing too. We both leaned forward at exactly the same time and BAM! we were on the floor.

So then we're both laughing hysterically because we had just broken my bed. But only one side of it fell. So we eventually settled down and we both slept on my broken bed that was slanted and we were smashed against the wall the whole night. It was hilarious.

And it's a great story to tell in conversation.. When it's dull just go "so one time.. My best friend and I broke my bed together..."

Anyway. Yeah. It was funny. Andie and I have had LOTS of good times. Maybe next time I post I'll remember and post another memory with her. I freaking love that girl! Yes!

Later!

Steph

It's been a while...

And lots of stuff has happened! But I won't bore you all with the details. Just know I'm not dead. I'm still alive. Shocker isn't it? With all the damage I'm capable of doing to myself in one day, knowing I survived a whole 10. Whoa!

Although I did cut myself yesterday and I'm still not sure how.

I decided that I'm quitting my job. As soon as I find another one. They transferred both of the managers that were keeping me there. So I just decided it's not worth it. Besides one of the new managers they gave us is a total jerk. I don't like him at all. It's not worth it to stay there. Especially when I know I'm capable of working somewhere else. It's not like I have no qualifications.

We went up and saw one of the managers they transferred today though. Kendra and I. We almost got hit by some stupid driver coming off of the freeway. He had a red light and just forgot to stop I guess. Kendra called him some really bad names. And I'm mad! I forgot to honk my freaking horn! I hate it when that happens. I always make it my resolve to honk when people do stupid stuff like that. But after he finally realized his light was red and we had both slammed on our brakes the freaking jerk started glaring at me. Like it was my fault he ran the red light? Yeah. I think not. At least I knew I had to hit my brakes. Other wise I'm pretty sure Kendra and I would both be dead right now. He was going FAST! It was really really scary. I was afraid to drive home. Cuz then it was raining and I had just almost been in an accident. Bleh. It was no fun.

In other news, Justin and I are fighting yet again. Seems like that's how it always is lately. Today he said something about his cougar comment being funny. But I didn't think it was funny at all. He called me ugly. I thought it was basically a jerky thing today and he never apologized for it. So today he mentioned something about it and I said it wasn't funny and started naming people who would agree with me and I mentioned Dave. And Justin called Dave a name that I really really didn't like so I started yelling at him for it. Because he doesn't even know Dave. Not at all. And it really irritated me. So then Justin started in on how I'd stand up for Dave (duh. He's my boyfriend why would I not?) but I wouldn't stand up for him. But that's so bull. I stand up for Justin all the time! Even when I'm mad at him! I'm always one of the first ones to say "Oh yeah. I'm mad at him and he can be a jerk. But a lot of times he's a really sweet guy" or something like that. I am always standing up for him and defending him. Especially around Angel and Tyler. And then he said that I wouldn't stand up for him because i didn't even like him. Seriously, that kind of hurt. Made me start wondering if I acted like I didn't like him around him. Then he started going off on how if I liked him as a friend I'd call him more than once a year and I'd call him just to talk (which I did on Sunday. For anyone who cares) But seriously it made me wonder if I'm really a crappy friend and everyone thinks I don't like them because of how I treat them. So I texted him and I said that whether he believed me or not I did stand up for him and I like him no matter what he might think. And I told him he was making me mad and I asked if I really acted like I didn't like him. And he told me "No just most times you make a bad day worse with your comments" By this time he was sitting next to me and I didn't even want to talk to him. I just wanted to text him back and get it over with but he kept telling me to talk to him. So I turned and talked to him and asked him how I was supposed to know when he was having a bad day and couldn't handle my jokes. I asked him like 8 times today if he was ok. How am I supposed to know he's having a bad day when he tells me repeatedly he's ok? It's not my fault he lies to me is it? I don't know. I just felt pretty crappy by the time that class was over. I like to think I'm a pretty decent friend and I didn't feel that today. I just make things worse for Justin. Maybe I should just give up and quit talking to him in general since I always make his bad days worse. I'm awful. bleh.

On the upside of today though, I got to spend some time with Dave. I have so much fun when I'm with him. He's amazing. As I'm sure you all know. I had him laughing pretty hard when i was trying to suck my ice cream up my straw. It did not work. All that happened was I got whipped cream on my nose. Which I'm sure looked adorable (yeah.. not) Either way, I had a blast. Which isn't a surprise.

I'm really looking forward to Friday. We're going to go on a triple date if all goes well. Me and Dave, Amy and Eric, and Amanda and Mitch (My sister and her boyfriend) It should be fun. I'm excited for it. We're gunna go to dinner and a movie. Should be a blast. Although I'm not sure how well my sister will get along with everyone. She's sorta hard to please some days. I love her though. She's a pretty good big sister. Very protective. Even when she doesn't need to be.

Yeah.. that's it.

Have a fantabulous night people!

Steph

Milkshakes!

Ok.. so just something that I thought was absolutely hilarious before I head off to bed.

We're driving in the car today after we went to Arby's for dinner. Me, Amy, and Eric. And I have this Vanilla shake. And I'm like "My milkshake is all melted"

And Eric. Funny funny funny Eric goes

"Mine brings all the boys to the yard.................. And they're like......... It's better than yours......... Damn right......... It's better than yours.......... I could teach you.......... But I'd have to charge."

Oh my heck. Amy and I busted up laughing. Absolutely hilarious. maybe it's one of those things you woulda had to hear. Most likely... but I thought it was absolutely hysterical. He was doing it like some guy that I can't remember the name of now.. but it was funny...

Night!

oooh! Park City!

Ok, so maybe they were right when they said Mom's know best... Who knew?

My mom has been advising me all week that I should have taken today and just relaxed and not pushed myself to go back to school just for the field trip we had planned for the academy today. But did I listen to her? No. And I pushed myself anyway. But seriously, a make up assignment would have been better.

I went to bed last night at around 11 after spending the part of the night with Amy at "Girl's Night Out" and the other part with Jess, Ashley and my mom eating ice cream at sonic. We got home around 10:45.

When I got home I took some pain medicine and went to sleep. But I had an awful awful nightmare and kept waking up due to pain and that stupid dream. I woke up at 1:30 and I was going to actually get out of bed and take more pain medicine. But it hadn't been 4 hours yet so I couldn't. All the other times I woke up, I just laid in my bed and cried because it hurt so bad but I didn't want to get up and take the pain medicine.

I'm trying really hard to not take it so much. Because I hate how drowsy it makes me. But, again my mom was right. When it wakes me up because it hurts so bad, I really should take it.

So I finally crawled out of bed this morning at 10 after 7 after my dad had come in and told me it was after 7 and I needed to get up and get ready to go if I were going to go. So I got up, put my Taylor Swift CD on and started getting ready for my day. But first, I took some pain medicine. Which was a really really smart move.

I got to school quite a bit early. At 8 rather than 8:30 so I just sat around in the commons waiting for people to show up. But soon, everyone was there and we were herded onto a bus to go up to the Canyons ski resort.

When again, my mom proved to be right. I should have put real shoes on rather than being lazy and putting on my flip flops and running out the door. And, I should have taken a jacket. Why is it that my mom is always right?

Anyway, we rode the Cabriolet up to the actual resort from the parking lot and it was freezing on the way up. But when we got up there the sun was actually pretty nice.

From the resort we rode the Gondola's up to a lodge and stayed up there for a while before coming back down. I got to ride down with Zack and Megan and it was nice to talk to them for a bit. But I really thought that Amy and Shawnea were going to follow me onto the Gondola.

Then we went on a tour of the Canyons. Boring boring boring!

We ended up on main street in park city for lunch and Amy Shawnea and I went to some place.. Our waitress wasn't very nice though. I didn't actually eat the restaurant food though, I sipped on my gatorade and I had a few bites of pudding that I had tucked into my purse before we left. Eating still hurts a lot. Although.. there is some left over Shepherd's pie in the fridge that's sounding pretty appetizing right now.

Going through the canyons my ears were killing me from all the pressure and the hurt that they're already in from the stupid surgery.

So, my mom was right, I shouldn't have pushed myself so much. But, I did. And I somewhat regret it.

But, It was good to spend all the time with Shawnea especially. And as always, with Amy.

I gave Jeramy a ride home from school and then I came home and took more pain killers. Which are currently making my thoughts really fuzzy. So I think I'm going to go steal some of that shepherds pie and take a nice long nap.

Have a fantabulous weekend!

And you should all come to the dance tomorrow! I'm oober excited for that!

Sydney, a birthday, and surgery

Wow, I haven't posted in a while. So mostly this is just going to be a pretty quick update.

Sydney got out of the ICU last friday after I posted and is doing quite well. I think she went back to school yesterday. She'll be fine. Which is good.

And as to what happened to her:

They were up at the high school Thursday night and she was sitting on the trunk of her car. Little Tyler was sitting in the drivers seat with the car running and decided he wanted to learn how to drive a stick. He popped the clutch and she fell onto the ground slamming her head into the concrete. Which fractured her skull. She started puking so they ran into the school to let the teachers and the police officer on duty know. But neither of them cared. Sydney was out there puking up blood for at least 45 minutes before any teachers would leave their parents to check on her.

Tyler called her mom and told her mom, but Sydney wasn't backing up his story. According to Sydney, she didn't fall and she didn't hit her head she just didn't feel good and was throwing up.

When Sydney woke up in the ICU and they asked her where she was she told them she was at the high school. When they explained to her that she was in the ICU they asked her if she knew why she was there and she said she must have driven herself there because she just didn't feel good.

She doesn't remember any of the accident. Her mom said she feels bad grounding Sydney for something she doesn't remember but that she'll get over that guilt fairly easily.

Tuesday was my birthday. And my was it ever fun! First a person made it really special on what was monday for me. But tuesday for them. Then at 11:59 PM My Andie friend called me and we were on the phone as it ticked over to midnight making it officially my birthday. At almost exactly midnight, Spencer emailed me wishing me happy birthday. And at 12:00:33 my sister called and was pretty upset that she was the 4th person to wish me happy birthday ON the day of my birthday. It was great though. What a great way to ring in my birthday.

Then I woke up and got ready for school and state DECA. I went to my first period and they signed happy birthday to me. It was fun. Then I sluffed seminary and Amy and I watched Bourne Identity at her house and we started the Bourne Supremacy but we stopped it to go eat lunch at Panda Express. Oh man! That was yummy. I love panda.

Then we came back and went to Smith's class and to part of Crowther's class before going back to Amy's house to grab some games to play while we were in provo that we never actually ended up playing.

And then it was on the bus to go to Provo. We spent most of the trip up talking to each other and Kirt. When we got up there, we got a LOT of questions about the cake. (Amy and I snuck a little frosting off the top before anyone else got any..)

And we went to Albertson's because Kirt decided he wanted to make it a big party. So he got candy and chips and soda (I still have that candy and chips in my room.. not like I can eat it now!)

After taking the test we went to dinner at some place that I can't remember the name of. But oh man it was DELICIOUS. Like seriously, super super yummy. And we did "pop shots" which is where someone sucked some lemonade in mine and amy's case or pepsi in kirts up in a straw and blew it into the other person's mouth. It was absolutely hilarious. I had a great time.

So we ended up in our room with Jorge and Nic and Zach (ooooh Amy... ;-) ) and Tamara and a bunch of other Kearns people for my birthday. And I had to blow on the candles with two breaths. So apparently I'm getting married twice. (Amy! What about a renewal of my vows?! Does that count as twice?!)

Then we went and sat in the hall with some Bingham kids to try and get them to come eat some cake because we had seriously a LOT of cake left over. And somehow we got on the subject of Bulimia and this girl Alex was like "Ew! How'd we get on the subject of bulimia anyway? Bulimia is gross... [pause] ... MY AUNT WAS BULIMIC ONCE! She threw up in her hands. And then. She put it in her hair. And then she was like "ew! Someone threw up on me!" " That was absolutely hilarious. Kirt Amy and I now have it as our new thing. We look at each other and go "My aunt was bulimic once!" Which is totally awful to make fun of, but seriously! Who didn't laugh at that?

Then we said something about pop shots and no sooner had the words "pop shots" left my mouth than all the kids from Bingham looked and me and gasped. So that was our other thing. POP SHOTS?! *gasp*

We ended up giving the rest of the cake away in the lobby to the people who would sing happy birthday to me. So I got a LOT of people to sing happy birthday to me. And I made the same wish about a billion times on the candles that Kirt kept relighting for people to sing to me with.

Then we finally went back to the room and Kirt tried to shoot skittles into our mouths from his. It didn't work out so well. I think he got one in Amy's. But he only hit my tooth and made it hurt a lot. It was fun though.

And then finally at 11 at night, Kirt told me happy birthday for the first time all day. He has some weird superstition that if you don't tell the person happy birthday between midnight and 1 or 11 and midnight it's bad luck.. Which I think is odd. But at like 11:10 Kirt started texting me happy birthday and he called and said happy birthday too.

Thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday! You guys are all the greatest. I lovers you all!

So that was my birthday. Great fun. Had a blast in Provo with my bestest friend ever. Oh! And we got another quote too!

We went to Smith's and we bought a half gallon of double fudge chunk brownie or something ice cream. And we were sitting in the hall way of this hotel eating the ice cream with our two spoons and this guy walked by and said "Now that is the highest form of life. Two friends, a half gallon of ice cream, and two spoons. It doesn't get any better than that." And really, it doesn't. Amy and I rock. Let me tell you.

And then came yesterday. Something I was absolutely terrified for. I had to be at the hospital at 6 am for surgery to get my tonsils taken out. Not a fun surgery. I don't recommend it. Getting the IV in my hand was the scariest part though. I'm not a big fan of needles. They put some numby stuff in my hand though so I didn't even feel it when they stuck the needle in. Then they wheeled me into the operating room. And they let me keep my blanket and my stuffed animal with me. They took my blanket off and gave me some super super warm blankets though. And then they told me they were going to put some gooey electical thingys on me to monitor my heart rate and that is absolutely the last thing I remember.

Until I woke up in recovery. And some guy kept saying "How are we doing Sunshine! Do we know where we are today?" Let me tell you, trying to talk right after you get your tonsils taken out is not fun. I didn't actually know where I was, but I took a guess and said recovery. Which was about all I could choke out. Then that man made me eat some chips of ice, and that felt amazing. My throat is really sore.

Then they took me into a curtained room so my mom and dad could be with me. And then I got to go home at about 10. So we ended up home around 10:45 although, I don't really remember that either. I remember my mom waking me up to make me drink more gatorade, eat a pudding, or a popsicle, and give me medicine a couple times.

And now here I sit, still really sore. But, good news! It's time for more medicine. Hooray! That stuff knocks me out though. I'm not sure I like that part.. But I like it not hurting anymore.

So there's your update.

Later!

I'm scared....

I just found out that one of my best friends is in the ICU at the hospital because she fractured her skull. She was life flighted last night. I'm really really really scared for her. A fractured skull is really scary.

And someone I care about a lot a lot left last night. All I can do is sit here and cry. I'm so scared.

They're taking cat scans for Sydney today. Her brother said she's stable but she's still in the ICU. So I can't even see her. We're going up there though to have them give her a card.

Bleh. Not cool.

What I've gotta do...

A Girl's Gotta Do

By Mindy McCready

The first thing I did when you said goodbye
was sit myself down and had a real good cry
The next thing I did was put my red dress on
and go downtown dancing till the break of dawn
chorus:
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
and now I´ve gotta get to getting over you
Too bad I´ve gotta do it with someone new
but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
Fancy meeting you at our stomping-ground
sorry if you caught me painting the town
Guess I should have stayed home with your memory,
Baby,don´t take it personally
chorus:
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
and now I´ve gotta get to getting over you
Too bad I´ve gotta do it with someone new
but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
bridge:
Give me a call sometime real soon,
and remind me to remember to forget about you
oh yeah
chorus:
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
and now I´ve gotta get to getting over you
Too bad I´ve gotta do it with someone new
but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do
A girls gotta do it,
Yea a girls gotta do it
too bad I gotta do it with someone new
but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

Yeah.. That song basically describes what I'm feeling right now. Most of it anyway. I have to move on. And I know it.

The other part of what I'm feeling is actually pretty upset. Someone I care about immensly has been lying to me about something really important for a couple weeks I guess. I don't know.

I'm hurt and upset.

And the only thing left for me to do is move on..

Abandoned?

Ok as silly as this sounds, even to myself.. I'm feeling really really abandoned right now. Which is totally stupid because I'm surrounded by friends. But I feel very alone and bleh ish.

Today I found out that Gran (My adopted grandma) is leaving tomorrow and won't be back until August at the earliest. She's one of the sweetest people I know and I adore her.

Also, one of my very close friends is leaving pretty quickly. I talk to this person a lot. About anything and everything and for a while I probably won't hear much from them.

And I've been thinking about all the friend's I've had that have either moved away from me or I've moved away from them. I was actually driving around in a neighborhood I used to live in today and wondering what became of all the people I used to talk to. My best friend that I got in my very first fist fight over... The best friend who I fought with because she was humming in class. I don't even have a school to relive these memories at. They tore it down. And isn't it just a shame that's where all of our memories were? They built a new alternative school there.

Also, I'm thinking in particular of one friend. Who died in Iraq. And although it's not his fault, I feel very abandoned by him. We never had enough time to make all our memories and I feel him slipping away more and more with every day. It seems like the only days I can remember now are the days that I was really mean to him. Or the days where I stood by and let others be mean to him without sticking up for him although I loved him truly as my friend. He was one of the few people who truly cared about me even though we had only lived there a very short time.

And the friend who committed suicide last year. I felt and I guess on some levels still do feel very very abandoned by him.

I'm starting to lose the good memories. It seems like I can only remember the bad things. How awful I was to them, what I would have done differently had I known they weren't going to be with me forever.

I don't know why all this started up today. I guess because I didn't think Gran would ever go back home. She's been here for almost a year. And now she's just leaving. She gave me the biggest hug ever today and I just wanted to cry. I'm going to miss her so much.

I guess I'm just missing people. I don't know. I've been wanting to cry all night. Seriously, it's like I'm never going to see her again even though I know that she has a plane ticket back in August. I guess I'm just worried that her brother won't be doing better by then and she'll have to change things around again.

I hate this feeling. Because I know I still have people who care about me here. But I can't help but be sad about the ones who I won't see or talk to for a long time. And the ones I haven't seen or talked to in a long time. Especially the ones who I don't have the chance to talk to for a long long time because they've moved on from this life.

Anyway.. moving on.

College scholarship applications for SLCC are due on Thursday. And I just barely started filling them out today. Shame on me. I have to get my ASL teacher to write me a letter of recomendation for it. And I think I'm going to ask my English teacher for one too. Because I know they both like me. And since I'm putting ASL Interpreting as my major on them having my ASL teacher write them a letter would probably be good. I think anyway.

My mom's been getting on my case all week about them and I've been lying through my teeth to her. Or rather, away from her as I can't lie to her face. So I hope that I really do knuckle down and get things done.

Tomorrow I have to sign a song in ASL. I chose D-I-V-O-R-C-E by Tammy Wynette. Simple enough song but I keep messing up the sign for maybe. Really stupid because it's a simple sign but I keep signing it wrong. And I'm signing birthday wrong and I know it. I just need to make sure that I remember and sign it right for tomorrow. I'm hoping that I get a good grade on it seeing as how it's already almost a week late. He told me I could do it before school though.

Anyway, I'm thinking it's time for another memory and since I've already been talking about him, why not share one of the good things I remember about him. This is for Lex. It's been just over a year since he died in Iraq. :-(

One time, I was at his house hanging out with his younger brother Obed. (Can you believe his parents had 15 kids and named them alphabetically A through O?!) Anyway, Max and Lex were playing some nintendo game and Lex was super focused on it. He was always that way with his nintendo games though. Hank had come home and was really upset about something. He came storming down the stairs (They had a split level entry way) and the first thing he saw was Max and Lex having a good time playing their video game. (Boy am I ever glad he didn't see me!) So being in the very fowl mood he was in he decided to grab both of their heads and slam them together. Max dropped to the floor and was crying. He had totally forgotten his game. Lex though, stood there, tears streaming down his face and waited until he had finished his level to stop and let the tears flow freely.

I remember this and it reminds me how devoted Lex was. Not only to his video games but to everything in his life. To me, as a friend, to his family, to his religion. To his country. I miss him...

Ok. I'm going to bed now.

Good night all!

And thank you all for being my friends and caring about me even when I'm being stupid and feel abandoned. I love you guys. You're my rocks! I wouldn't survive without you.

Update!

My mom checked my grades today. Not a good thing really. Seeing as how I have an F and two D's. But those should be coming up soon. I shouldn't have let them ever drop so low. But I have. and now unfortunately I'm stuck doing a whole lot of make up work. Great isn't it? I'm so sick of school. Honestly, I'm sick of my teachers, sick of almost all of my classmates, just sick of it in general. I have a major case of senioritis. And that's not a good thing. I haven't done my math homework almost all semester. (I'm missing 10 assignments as of today but I actually did one of them after school and a friend is coming over to help me with them later. Hooray!)

So today at school was actually pretty interesting. Our girl's basketball team made it to state so we got out early. It was basically amazing. And tomorrow is late start day. Which makes everything infinately better. Especially since tomorrow is a B day and I have to have stupid classes. I'm really sick of the stupid academy classes. The only thing keeping me sane through them is Amy. I'd die if she weren't there. In fact, I intend on sluffing the days she misses so that I don't have to be there by myself.

My weekend was basically amazing! Minus friday. And sunday. Saturday and Monday were great though! Saturday was a blast! I went to sweethearts with Ryan. And it was so much fun! We took lots of pictures and I seriously had a blast. Even though we were running late all day and things weren't running smoothly, I had a really good time.

We went downtown for the day activity and we took random pictures everywhere that we're going to put in photo albums for everyone after we label all the pictures and such. I thought it was a good way to remember a date. Probably my favorite picture is one where Ryan and I decided it would be hilarious to hold hands through a garbage can and get someone to take our picture so we did. Hah!

We took a lot of pictures that I really liked though. That was just one of my favorites. Another one of my favorites is the one we took in the elevator at the mall. They rocked. We had fun. Or I did anyway.

Then we went to the olive garden for dinner and our waitress was amazing. She was funny. And she treated us like we were her friends not just some annoying high school students. Even when one of us asked her for her number. That was really funny.

We only made it to the dance to get pictures taken but that was enough for me. Ryan and I ended up dancing on the stage while we were standing in line for the pictures. It was spontaneous and fun.

Then we went to Natalie's house for a movie! That was pretty fun I guess. We had fun with the chocolate fountain for a while and then settled down to watch a movie that I intended to fall asleep during but certain circumstances prevented me from doing so.

Sunday I just had to work and then I talked to some people about some feelings and I ended up locking myself in my bedroom to figure things out. Which was really good for me. Forcing myself to think about things was really really good because generally I don't. I ignore the problems in my life and just let them get to me and stuff. So now I'm feeling much better because of it.

And yesterday I spent the evening with the guy I like. we went to dinner and movie which was really fun. I'm really glad we went.

In other news, I'm getting my tonsils taken out either the 9th or the 13th of march. bleh.

Life..

So, today marks the anniversary of my cousin's death. And it seems silly for me to be upset about it because it happened like 12 years ago and I didn't even know her. She only lived for 4 hours. But, all the same, here I sit in a sad/depressed state of mind.

Not that today wasn't good. I had my fun classes and such. And I actually enjoyed my seminary class a lot today. We were learning about the word of wisdom and we made a commercial to illustrate the point. Well our class chose to make a vonage spoof for the word of wisdom. And I got to play the part of the smoker using tobacco. So I was standing up against the seminary building "smoking" with a cigarette that Nichelle made that looked SO real. And then Jeff took a book of mormon and threw it at my head. And it seriously hurt. I was supposed to fall as part of the commercial. But I actually fell because of how hard it hit my head. hah.. Really funny. But it hurt. It was fun though.

That's really the only eventful thing of today. Then I went to work. And things just went downhill. I don't know what it is lately but every time I go to work I get in this funk and I just can't seem to get out of it. Today it was really stupid though. I was laughing about something and Kendra started making fun of my laugh. Which normally just makes me laugh. But today it offended me. And I was really upset. I wanted to cry.

Then that's when I started thinking about what today was. February 8th. My cousin died after being on this earth for 4 hours. She was born with one lung, and undeveloped lung system, a hole in her diaphram and her heart was upsidedown. She was probably 3 months premature. And now, doctors could probably save her. But then, they couldn't. I didn't know her. So I shouldn't be affected this way by her death should I? It's never hit me like this before but today I started thinking about how fragile life really is. And how fast you can lose it.

And then I started thinking about all the things I'd like to do before I die. So while I was at work I was trying my hardest not to cry. And my eyes only welled up with tears once or twice. I didn't know her. But I miss her in the sense that I wish she were here and that I could have gotten to know her.

Today's her dad's birthday. We talked on the phone for a while. Then I had to go back to work. It was good though. He sounded kind of down. Which doesn't surprise me. His daughter died on his birthday.. would you be the most upbeat person ever that day?

Bleh. I don't want to be a downer. I want to be the happy up beat person I usually am. But I don't think that's going to happy any time soon...

Love to you all.

Steph

Memories

ok so I know this is two posts in one day. But I remembered that I said I would post a memory in one of my blogs to live up to Nathan's challenge. And while it's been over a week, tonight I'm thinking of a memory that I want to share because I think it is immensely funny.

Once upon a time...

No just kidding. But seriously, one time my friend Andie and I were walking home from school. And we were walking down 54th south. Which is the busy road close to us. And we found this sign on the side of the road. and there was no traffic so we decided we would throw it into the middle of the road. And nothing happened.

Well the next day, we're walking down that same stretch of road and that same sign is back on our side of the road. So thinking nothing of it, we picked it up and chucked it back into the middle of the road. And then you hear this huge screeching of tires and such. Really scary to be honest.

So the guy driving gets out of the car and is screaming at Andie and me. Telling us he was going to call the cops and asking for our names and our addresses and our parents names. It was really quite scary. Then when he found out we were 13 he decided to leave us alone.

Really scary at the time but hilarious in hindsight. Moral of the story: Don't throw signs into the same road twice. Only do it once. Then you don't get in trobule. No j/k seriously don't throw signs into the road. It can be very dangerous.

Church today

Ok. So first off I have a question. Because it was posed to me today and I feel that I'm somewhat too close to the people involved in the situation to give an unbiased response. So I want to know what everyone else thinks!

Today, during sacrament meeting, my friend Chauntay pulled me out of the meeting to sign a card for our young women's leader who had been released. And then she said she had a question for me. So this is the situation:

On Wednesday night, our mutual was to tie quilts. I didn't go. But Chauntay did. She'd never tied a quilt before and didn't understand when this kid Alex was trying to teach her how so she was sitting around a quilt talking to people and socializing while they tied. Then a leader came over to her and Carly (who also wasn't tying a quilt) and told them that Since they weren't doing anything they should "sit over there and look pretty" while pointing to the stage.

Maybe it's just Tay, Carly, and me. But that came off as very rude to me. I would think that a leader should never say something like that to a youth. And the way Chauntay took it, it was basically that leader telling her that she wasn't good enough to be in her presence. I'm not sure that's what the leader meant really, but the way it came across was bad enough.

So they went and were sitting on the stage. And no one invited them back. They left the group and normally in our ward when someone leaves they make you come back. You never have the option of being by yourself but no one said anything to them.

So then they started passing out refreshments. Nothing big really just a small ice cream treat but a different leader was handing them out and came over to Chauntay and Carly and told that that she guessed they could have one even though they hadn't done anything.

So here's my question. Would you consider that mean? Chauntay left never wanting to go back to a mutual activity or church again. Do you think she took things too literally and is over reacting? She did come back to church but she says she has no interest in talking to either of those leaders. And I personally don't blame her. But I want to know what other people think.. What would you do?

And now to fast and testimony meeting. My sunday school teacher was the first one up to bear his testimony and as always, issued a challenge to his class to bear their testimony. But this time he issued a bribe to get us to go up. He had made this bribe last week I guess and I knew nothing about it because I haven't been at church since Christmas Eve.. That's awful.

Anyway, I really didn't know anything about this bribe and I had been planning on going up and bearing my testimony regardless because of events that have happened that have reaffirmed my testimony in the church. Almost all of the youth got up to bear their testimony though.

My sunday school teacher was sitting on the bench in front of me and leaned back to whisper to me what the bribe was. but I told him I didn't want to know because I wanted to go up of my own free will and not go up because I wanted whatever it was he was bribing with us.

So I went up and bore my testimony, starting out by letting everyone know that I was up there for me and not for Josh's bribe. And then I bore my very simple testimony. That I know the LDS church is the true church. And that even though it had taken me a long time I finally knew it for myself.

That was it. So I just want all of you to know. That I know it's true. And that's the main point of this post.

What I didn't count on in bearing my testimony to my ward is that I would make my mom cry! As I walked back down to my seat my mom and my young women's leader were crying. That was unintentional.

Anyway it turns out that Josh's bribe was a super bowl party. And I think I'll end up going over there later. Probably before fourth quarter or something. Because Ashley made cupcakes! Yummy!

Anyway. yeah. that's the end.

today...

Woot! All about my day! Are you excited yet?! You shouldn't be..

I guess I really should start with yesterday. I promised Whitney I'd wear my hair curly to school today so last night, I put my hair up in curlers and as promised, I wore my hair curly. It was really kinda cute. I liked it anyway, and my sister told me I looked very pretty before I left for school. So I left in high spirits.

When I got to school and I walked into Ms. White's classroom Angel like.. gasped and told me I looked way pretty. I liked that too. And was smiley and bubbly. Hooray! Maybe I should do things with my hair more often! If that's all it takes to look beautiful!? You betcha! I'm actually thinking of putting my hair BACK into those torturous devices tonight!

Health was pretty laid back today, or it should have been. I got kind of worked up when we started talking about advertising done by tobacco companies. ew. I hate them so much. Stupid Phillip Morris... he really irks me. And I don't even know him!

English was actually pretty entertaining today. We were revising other people's papers and that's something I really like doing. I actually was more looking forward to the revisions done to my paper though. I love having people revise my papers and help me with them. So if any of you want to read my paper and critique it, let me know and I'll be MORE than happy to let you. I love getting advice! Because I know I'm not the best writer and I really want this story to be well done. Because it means a lot to me. And the girls that critiqued today told me they were too nice to revise papers. I was like rawr! I want you to mark up my paper as much as you want! But they didn't. So.. bleh.

Then Charlotte and I went to lunch! Hooray! That was pretty fun. We went to subway. But Tyler called us "damn whores" because we didn't take him with us. Really quite funny actually. I love how his insult had nothing to do with why he was mad at us. He's become obsessed with that word I think.

Then came gym. Which is when I started to get upset. I have that class with jerk face. And we were getting along just fine and he actually complimented me on my hair and told me it looked cute curled and we were just talking when he brought up the subject of all of his ex girlfriends. And believe me, they are numerous. Well then he said the only reason he dated any of them is because they all needed help. Well that kind of offended me, seeing as how I dated him and all. And when I looked at him with a dirty look he looked and me and said "what?! You can't deny that you needed help when I met you!" I was seriously upset. What kind of boy dates girls because they "need help"? My self esteem dropped severely. I always thought a boy dated a girl because he liked her personality or something.. NOT because she needed help. So I was pretty upset.

So in Stats I just read my book. And I got yelled at for it like 8 times. But I just kept reading. Bleh.

Bleh on boys! I so give up on them! What is the point?! Exactly. There isn't one.

Anyway, after school, I went to Ms. White's room to return the pen I borrowed and ended up staying after school for over an hour talking to Tyler, Angel and Sydney. It was good for me. It was good to talk to someone about things that have been going on lately that I've been holding in because I don't want anyone to know. And, they all had good advice.

I love my friends! They rock!

When I got home my mom was pretty upset because I hadn't called to say I was going to be late but she just told me to call next time and everything was ok. Then my brother and sister were showering me with compliments telling me how beautiful I looked today. And my brother asked if I was trying to get someone to notice me. He told me I looked super beautiful today and then said "not that you don't look beautiful every day. Just more beautiful today." And I really loved that kid more than I ever have in my life. Because I was feeling really crappy after the Justin incident. I'm still feeling really crappy about it to be honest. (My eyes are filling up with tears right now.. :-( boo)

And then came work. Which actually wasn't too bad tonight. Sure, Sandra was irritating, but I'm hoping that's just because she's new and that as she gets the hang of everything it'll be easier. She really is a nice girl. But it was so funny! My boss, Maritza found an old Arby's mitt costume and dressed up in it and came into the lobby and started dancing. I laughed so hard! It rocked. I love her! She's my favorite.

And Kendra and I got to talk too. Which was good. Because she's been having some troubles in her life lately and most recently, her mom ODed on Loritab. So it's been a difficult time for her and I really just needed to know that she was ok and knew she could count on me for help.

One part of the night that was funny was when Sandra told me that Kate Winslet and I could be twins if I didn't have brown hair. I laughed so hard. No offense to myself or anything, but Kate Winslet is GORGEOUS. And I.. am not. By any definition of the word gorgeous. There are days when I might think I look pretty. But gorgeous?! NEVER! So it was really sweet of her. a HUGE lie.. but it was nice.

So that was my day. And here I sit. Trying not to cry about what Jerk face said to me. I dated him for 8 months! And all that to him was only because I "needed help" well thank you very much for that JERK FACE! hmph. Forget him.

New semester means new classes

Yesterday as you all know, was the start of a new semester, and with that comes new classes! Hooray! I no longer have creepy scary Mr. Flanagan!

My first period changed from Government, to Health. Which I'm somewhat dreading. I'm the only senior in that class (which I suppose is what I get for not taking it my sophomore year like I was supposed to). But I think the teacher looks like she could be fun. She seems to want to have a fun time and I'm all for having a fun class. Plus, She said there's no homework. And what better than a class with no homework?! Exactly, nothing.

My second stayed the same, Still college prep English with Mrs. Peterson. Crazy microphone lady. I hate that stupid microphone but I'm really looking forward to second semester in her class. She's an alright teacher despite what I thought about her most of first semester. Considering the students she has to deal with, I'll cut her some slack. Which I should have done forever ago. Then maybe I would have enjoyed the class to begin with. (I do wish she'd leave the stupid microphone off though)

My third changed from boring old physics (I hate science! Sorry!) to Gym. Which, is about the same. But at least I won't be so bored I'm falling asleep every day in that class. There are upsides to it as well, I get to be in class with the girl I talked to all through physics, so we won't lose the beginnings of our friendship. However, a boy I've been worried about being around is also in that class with me. I'm hoping everything works out for the best though because I do still care about him. And hopefully, now that he has a girlfriend things won't be quite so awkward. (I do worry for her though. I hope she knows what she's gotten herself into!)

My fourth stayed the same. And for that, I'm grateful. Even though it's a HUGE homework class, I really enjoy it. Yesterday we played with pennies! I love the teacher he keeps us involved in class and makes it fun. Although I really suck at doing the homework and turning it in.. But yesterday I did it! Right after school! It was a miracle really!

My fifth stayed the same. American Sign Language! Two girls dropped out of the class and I'm really going to miss them. It won't be the same with 16 girls and 0 boys as it was with 18 girls and 0 boys. It rocks. I love that class. And the teacher being deaf is great! We learn so much. I love it!

Sixth is still seminary but, the two other seniors in there switched out of that class so I'm left alone as the only senior. And there's already a kid who transferred in who annoys me. Today I fell out of my chair trying to steal the ball from him! It was funny. There were a lot of new people in that class so today we took a "quiz" on everyone's name and I finished and just sat there but this kid Kyle had to say something about being done and when I mentioned that it didn't matter and that I was already done he said "yeah but I'm the one that matters everything revolves around me" so I said "oh so you're the standard and I'm better than the standard" it was great. He had zero comebacks to that. It rocked.

Seventh changed from Computer Systems whatever to World Geography. Definately NOT looking forward to that class. The teacher is super boring. But I think Amy and I got him convinced to let us sit next to each other. Which would rock. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that one.

Eighth also changed. From marketing (I loved that class!) to some stupid class with Crowther. And Amy and I sit next to each other in that class. Which is good. Because I'd probably go insane if I had to sit next to anyone else. (I know, I know sanity is over rated :-P )

Today is looking up though. I like today actually. Quite a bit. All in all, it was a great day! And I'm extremely grateful to have the friends I have. So thanks to you all! And my love goes out to each and every one of you! Thanks for everything you do with and for me!

Undecided...

So.. I don't know.

Today was kind of stupid.

My mom woke me up to help her with the stupid camera. She couldn't figure out how to connect it to the computer so she could get the pictures off of it. So by the time I was done helping her i just came back in my room and got ready for school then sat on my chair and slept.

So then I was running late for school. Or so I thought. But when I pulled into the parking lot there were like no cars. Seriously for Hunter, it was odd. Because there are always cars in the parking lot at Hunter. So I was confused. It was like 7:28 when I parked so I was rushing to get in to class but surprise for me when I walked in the commons was still super busy. Well I decided I would just go to my class room but it was locked. So I walked back to the commons and found someone in my first. She said it was mass change day and that class didn't start until 8:30. Which irritated me. So I started calling my friends that go to Hunter and finding out where they were and eventually found them so we got to talk for a while before class started. Which was good. We haven't had the chance to sit down and actually talk for a long time. I'm glad that we got the chance to today. Although, it did sort of suck that I had been in a rush for nothing.

Then we went to seminary and I finally drew a picture I've been promising someone to draw for them. It sucks royally. But it's done. And I sort of like the one of the cow! Yup yup! A Cow! And a penguin! That's the extent of my drawing abilities.

Then came the academy classes. Which was alright except I forgot an assignment at home and of course, today being the last day of the classes, I couldn't do anything about it so I drooped back into my grumpy no fun mood. Good thing Amy was there. Especially today. I am so grateful to have a friend like her. She knows when to stop questioning and when to leave things alone. I love her to pieces!

Then we had to go down to the career center and talk about our trip to San Fransisco and Amy and I decided we were going to do the job shadow day. Which was super fun last year! And we talked about room assignments for our senior trip and Amy and I are definately rooming together. Which is good. I'm super excited for that.

And another plus, I've finally decided who I'm asking to Sweethearts! Woot! And how I'm going to ask them. It's going to be awesome. I'm excited for it.

Anyway, so after school I had to go take a math test. But on the way I was stopped in the hall by "baby Tyler" who was telling me that Sydney was having a major issue and needed me. Which was odd because normally I'm not at that school on B-Days. So I walk into the debate room and find Sydney having a panic attack on the floor. It was scary. I've never seen her freaking out so much. Which is odd because we've been friends since 3rd grade at Mill Hollow. Hah. Great times.

So anyway back to this math test. I was super stressed about it all day because I haven't done any of the assignments from this chapter. But, it was all multiple choice and I didn't do too poorly on it. In fact, I got the 2nd highest score in the class. Which rocks. Because it brought my grade up from a C+ to a B+. Which was good. Especially for this term.

So after my test I went back to the debate room to check on Sydney and she was doing much better but I decided not to leave just to stay and have fun with Tyler and Angel and Sydney. So I stole Sydney's ipod and sang a bunch of my favorite songs and blocked out everything. It was good. And, seeing Sydney do Tyler's hair in pigtails was a once in a lifetime experience I'm glad I didn't miss out on. And then I came home. And it's been good.

Anyway, Nathan said something in one of his posts about posting a memory once a week. So I decided I'm going to start that today.

And my memory of the week comes from 3rd grade. The summer after it actually While we were at Mill Hollow. Sydney and I were hiking down this trail and there was a HUGE rock in the middle of the path. So I moved to get out of the way and Sydney just kept walking so I was like "Sydney! Watch out! There's a rock!" and she said "What?" and I said "Watch out! There's a rock!" and She again didn't hear me and said what and was now looking at me so I said "watch." and she smacked face first into the ground. Which wasn't funny at the time but is now absolutely hilarious to me. So after she got up and we made sure she was okay we were laughing about it and I was making fun of her and karma came back to bite me in the butt and I fell down the side of the mountain.

Moral of the story: If you want to warn your friends about a rock and they trip over it anyway, don't laugh at them. You might just fall down a mountain.

I love that story though...

Weekend

So, I totally loved my weekend. It was awesome.

Friday I finally got my room clean and in turn, got ungrounded. Which was amazing. Then I just had work. And accidentally yelled out something to the effect of i hate my manager.. which is true. But I felt bad.

Saturday was amazing! I got to sleep in. Which hasn't happened very often lately. When I finally got out of bed, my sister and I watched part of Mona Lisa Smile. Then we went sledding. It was so fun. Although I did wake up a little sore this morning. Then Dave, My dad, My brother, and I all played risk together. Dave and I ended up forming an alliance and winning together. It was fun.

Then Dave and I went to Sydney's house for a "date night" that really was more like hanging out for Dave and I but it seemed like a whole lot more of a date for Angel and Derek. It got kind of awkward though... enough said.. Those who know what I'm talking about, know. Those who don't, ask and maybe I'll tell you.

Then today, I had to work. So I didn't get to go to church but I did leave work early to go to a surprise party for my friend! after my boss made me cry because he hurt me so bad. He like.. pinched my shoulders somehow that hurt really bad. I don't know it sucked really bad though. I was laughing though. Because I thought it was funny that he hurt me. but crying cuz it really hurt.

I had a lot of fun there. But only because I dragged my friend Andie along with me. She knew the guy so it wasn't a bad thing. But we laughed and talked about old times then went back to her house and looked at her old yearbooks. I laughed so hard when we went through her 7th grade. She had drawn hearts and stuff all over this guys face. I looked at it and just busted up. Hilarious really.

However, then I got home. And started talking to my cousin on MSN. Which really put a damper in my spirits.

Currently in the conversation we're talking about a boy I used to like and just barely got over.

My oh so sweet cousin says:
omg he thinks he can kick my *butt* w.e
Steph says:
oh my heck Kayla
Steph says:
why don't you just quit talking to him if you don't like him so much?
Steph says:
there is no law that says you have to talk to him you know
Super sweet cousin again says:
um ok your just mad kuz he dotn like you hahah

That kind of irked me. Because she doesn't know anything about his feelings toward me or my feelings toward him. I hate it when she assumes she knows everything about my life.


She's so nice! says:
at less when im around my family i dotn act liek a cry baby
Steph says:
excuse me?

Then she goes on to say that she won't mention any names and says "*steph*"

And this is the part that really got to me.

Steph says:
If you hate me so bad why do you want to talk to my friends? That doesn't make sense to me at all.
hell is a place called home says:
um yeah i do hate you and if there was a stronger word i woudl use it

That's the point where I started to cry. I know I'm not exactly the best person in the world, but I try so hard to be nice to her. My cousin Char and I have always been really close and we used to really leave everyone out of our lives but recently, I've been inviting Kayla to join us so she didn't have to just sit with the adults every time we did anything together as a family. But I guess that was just an awful thing for me to do.

Anyway, it gets to the point where she apologized because her mom made her. And she made sure I knew it was because her mom made her.

Then her mom started talking to me. Telling me I need to keep my friends out of her daughters life and blah blah blah when her daughter is the one who BEGGED me to let her talk to him. And who continuoulsy starts conversations with him even though he's not always nice to her or anything. And then my aunt started telling me that I need to own up to my mistakes and apologize for what I did. And I'm still not even sure what I did exactly.. My cousin was complaining about my friend so I told her she didn't have to talk to him. Where is the harm in that? Seriously?

And my aunt told me that I didn't need friends on the computer to be cool. She assumed automatically that any friend I have isn't a person I know in real life. I was irritated. And crying.

Bleh! I want to disown my extended family.

But I was super happy at what the guy we were talking about said to her:

I know more than enough to figure out that you take joy in degrading and tormenting others. you act tough because you are weak emotionally. you wage war through the psyche because you know that's where it hurts the most.

And what he said to me:

just so you know
she doesn't hold a candle to you

yeah. But, I'm almost 100% positive my aunt will tell my grandma what a horrible person i am because I got in a fight with her daughter and then my grandma will hate me forever (not that she doesn't already) and yeah. It's just going to suck. a lot.

Yeah.. My family sucks. oober much.

Ugh

Today has been.. interesting to say the least. I've been grouchy and cranky all day. And I think maybe writing about it will help.

It all started off this morning. My mom got me out of bed super early to tell me that I needed to help my dad get all his junk out of my truck. And I didn't want to. So I decided just to let my dad give me a ride to school. Which was fine. I was ok with all of that. Just irritated that he couldn't get his junk out of my truck without my help. He got it in there without my help didn't he?

So I went into my first period. American Government. I've hated that class from the very first time I ever set foot in there and my teacher said something about me having really nice legs. Can you say creep?! So anyway, today I walked in. Before the bell rang mind you! WAY before the bell rang. And my friend Courtney was there. So we got to talking about our weekends and how I hadn't worked at all on the project we're supposed to be doing together. And all the time the stupid teacher was just giving me death glares. And then he had to open his stupid mouth about how I should be using this time to do my assigned work for the period. And the bell hadn't rung! It set me off. I started yelling at him.. Something to the effect of the bell hasn't rung and you have no control over me until it does so. I don't have to be doing the assignment until after the bell rings and even then if I didn't want to he had no control over me doing it he could just strongly reccommend it.. probably wasn't the right thing to do. But he was seriously irritating me. So when the bell rang he immediately set off about how now I only had 10 minutes to do my stupid self starter that was all of 5 stupid opinion questions. Cuz it totally takes forever to form an opinion on a question? UGH! So I finished that and the assigned work for the day and I was reading a book. Something I thought was a valuable way to pass the time. At least I wasn't sleeping like half the rest of class. But apparently that wasn't good enough. My teacher came over and had to tell me that I was capable of much better work and yadda yadda yadda... I yelled at him again. Not a wise move. But oh well. I did the stupid work and presented it to the class. Because apparently that's what better means. Is that I can stand up in front of the class and tell them all about state and federal income tax from what i read in the chapter. I hate that class. I hate the teacher. And I'm SO glad I only have 3 days left.

Then comes English. Which is actually one of my favorite subjects. But today I just had absolutely no motivation. We had to take a vocab quiz that I didn't study for at all. And the girl who corrected my paper did the subtraction wrong for the number I missed and gave me extra points. That I failed to point out to the teacher. But maybe I will someday. (Hah! Not likely!) So anyway, Courtney and I went to the library to work on our powerpoint presentation. More like I sat there while he worked on it. I was seriously just.. I don't know. Irked about everything. AHH!

At lunch Angel and Tyler came over to our table and were talking and trying to convince Sydney that we should all leave and go to tyler's house and sluff our thirds. Which did not go over well with me. I had a test in my third today so sluffing would not have been a wise idea. So then they decided that instead of going to Tyler's house we were going to go find Derek. Which was the most retarded idea Angel has ever had in her life. That and letting Sydney tell him she liked him.
Then comes Physics. Which wasn't bad actually. I took the test (open book! yay!) and then I went to sleep after finishing my book (a really good book I'm glad that the boy I like reccommended it!) Hooray. Sleeping through that class is the best. So no complaints there.

Then I went to stats. Which I actually enjoyed for the most part. Michelle and I just talked the whole time not doing our assignment. Which I'll regret tomorrow night when I have to do it all.

Then I came home. And I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. But everyone in my family was irritating me. My mom made up a new chore chart. And I yelled at her for putting me on dinner duty on wednesdays when I have mutual. Then I felt bad and she was just apologizing and it sucked. I hate making my mom feel bad.

So I came back into my room and sulked. While watching a movie. a SERIOUSLY long movie. (Pride and Prejudice. I'll have you know I finished the whole thing!)

Then. Stupid Steven's Henager college called to change the stupid appointment they made with me for tomorrow that I don't even really want! And my brother was yelling at me as he opened my door while holding the phone right next to his mouth. So I yelled at him. And then felt immensely stupid when I picked the phone up and it was a college. Yeah. smooth move for me.

Then I had to go up for dinner. And I noticed I had mail. So I was sitting at the table opening my mail and my dad asked me to go get his laptop bag. To which my response was "what do you need it for it's dinner time?" and he just told me to go get it. Which irritated me. He doesn't allow me to do anything while I'm at the dinner table but he wanted his laptop! So I threw my mail at him and stormed downstairs to get his dumb laptop bag. And all he said to me was thank you. And as stupid as this sounds, that just made me more mad! He could have at least gotten mad at me for throwing stuff at him! So i hurried and ate dinner and stormed back down into my bedroom. Where I've been hiding all day.

And now, as I'm writing all this, I'm frustrated for letting my temper get the best of me. And I just feel stupid for everything I did today.

Thanks for my friends who just listened to me whine and complain today and offer to be of assistance. And for just talking to me. Even though I was probably being an insufferable brat. I heart you all oober much <3!

Bleh.. being cranky. is no fun. I hate it.