So, today marks the anniversary of my cousin's death. And it seems silly for me to be upset about it because it happened like 12 years ago and I didn't even know her. She only lived for 4 hours. But, all the same, here I sit in a sad/depressed state of mind.
Not that today wasn't good. I had my fun classes and such. And I actually enjoyed my seminary class a lot today. We were learning about the word of wisdom and we made a commercial to illustrate the point. Well our class chose to make a vonage spoof for the word of wisdom. And I got to play the part of the smoker using tobacco. So I was standing up against the seminary building "smoking" with a cigarette that Nichelle made that looked SO real. And then Jeff took a book of mormon and threw it at my head. And it seriously hurt. I was supposed to fall as part of the commercial. But I actually fell because of how hard it hit my head. hah.. Really funny. But it hurt. It was fun though.
That's really the only eventful thing of today. Then I went to work. And things just went downhill. I don't know what it is lately but every time I go to work I get in this funk and I just can't seem to get out of it. Today it was really stupid though. I was laughing about something and Kendra started making fun of my laugh. Which normally just makes me laugh. But today it offended me. And I was really upset. I wanted to cry.
Then that's when I started thinking about what today was. February 8th. My cousin died after being on this earth for 4 hours. She was born with one lung, and undeveloped lung system, a hole in her diaphram and her heart was upsidedown. She was probably 3 months premature. And now, doctors could probably save her. But then, they couldn't. I didn't know her. So I shouldn't be affected this way by her death should I? It's never hit me like this before but today I started thinking about how fragile life really is. And how fast you can lose it.
And then I started thinking about all the things I'd like to do before I die. So while I was at work I was trying my hardest not to cry. And my eyes only welled up with tears once or twice. I didn't know her. But I miss her in the sense that I wish she were here and that I could have gotten to know her.
Today's her dad's birthday. We talked on the phone for a while. Then I had to go back to work. It was good though. He sounded kind of down. Which doesn't surprise me. His daughter died on his birthday.. would you be the most upbeat person ever that day?
Bleh. I don't want to be a downer. I want to be the happy up beat person I usually am. But I don't think that's going to happy any time soon...
Love to you all.
Steph
4 comments:
Aw, Steph, don't let things like this get you down. Death is part of life.
Is there anything I can do for you?
its all part of life. thats where the testimony of the plan of salvation comes in. :) every thing will be okay. love ya to death!
So... How's life?
Spencer- I know it's a part of life. I just was having a hard day. been having quite a few of those lately... And just keep talking to me. That's what you can do for me!
Melissa- I know. Love ya too!
Dave- It's alright. Better than it was when I wrote this. And better than it was last night. (Never did call Justin. I thought about it REALLY hard though...)
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